Since young, I've been wondering why I don't get a rich family, where all my needs and wants could be fulfilled simply by sweet talking to my parents and a PLEASE. But I know, being born in the family, I should count myself as lucky, at least I have a stable and heart warming family.

But over the years, as age is getting up to my temper and thinking, it made me feel the jealousy and irritatedness of being in a family. I'm not saying I'm old or whatsoever, but pretty much every teenager at the age of 16-20, or even younger/older will have the same feeling. Like, "Stop nagging at me so much, getting very irritated!" or whenever your siblings take you into the fight between them and your parents, "You always give in to *****, sometimes I even wonder if I'm your child!" and other issues like that, and you can't really feel the family warmth because of issues like that which are happening almost every single day. Kind of like some family drama, only that you're part of it.

-Ranting Ahead, Read if you're really interested or can feel the same way I do!-

I'm just a little unhappy over this issue, apparently being an intern at this point in time, earning a miserable sum of $600 a month, to provide myself with food, entertainment and other stuffs is either just sufficient or not enough. And yes, my parents do not offer me allowances anymore since the start of internship. Almost everything I want or need has to be paid by myself. Normally the amount of money is just enough to use over the month, but during December, with Christmas being there, the money was spent before the end of the month. So, without any choice left, I had to borrow money from my mum. She's not really that rich I do know, but it's not like I'm not returning it to her. And I actually had to endure all those comments from her, and my sister's comments too.

Apparently, I'm spending money too quickly, because I've been watching too much movies and using those cash to do meaningless stuffs. But, since the start of internship, when have I even borrowed any money from them till December? And I was actually nagged at for being a spendthrift. I don't even have the extra cash to buy myself some new clothes, plainly because I'll rather spend them on food, if I were to have an excess of cash. If they actually jot down their own expenditure, I'm pretty sure the expenses they spent on themsleves is also roughly the same. So what reason do they have to say that I'm using too much.

If it's the issue on me going on a graduation trip to HKG, I didn't even mention a word that I would like to borrow some cash from them at all. I do have the ability to pay for it even with the miserable pay of $600. Yes, I do know most of the people will be saying, "What parents do are all for your own good!" blah blah blah..... I'm pretty sure you have also experienced such an issue, so don't even try to tell me things like that! And the worst point is that, the doubts in them are plainly overflowing, when I told my brother that I'm intending to go to HKG, he actually asked me, "So how much are you going to borrow from mum/sis?", I told him I dón't even want to borrow a single cent from them unless I have no choice. Seriously, if I'm the issue of being the spendthrift of the family, maybe every single one of them should also be thinking if they have been spending just as much or even more splurging on goods for themsleves. Working and earning a great deal more than me isn't an excuse that you're able to spend and I'm not.

-End-

Enough of pouring out all my thoughts, I guess I just need more understanding, and perhaps more concern. Since the start of my secondary school I guess, my parents won't even ask me about school or my grades or my future. It's like I'm on my own since then!

Anyways since Sec 2, I've been working part time for almost every holidays, just so I can purchase things that I want for myself without extending my hands and asking for more cash from my parents, so I do dare say I've been really understanding in that kind of situation.

Maybe it's just the need to feel their attention, love and concern for you, as a child. I don't feel that anymore and I'm pretty sure most of the people can't feel that now as well. That's why friends are always there for you, whatever you're feeling, they are always there to support!

Labels: Random Stories